


Life of Ashes

by Kintan_Kiritsugu



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Bullying, Depression, Hope, Love, Other, Realistic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 21:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4364591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kintan_Kiritsugu/pseuds/Kintan_Kiritsugu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He dealt with his father's abuse for years. His brothers' denial for months. His mother's ignorance for weeks. Trey, Trey Du Couteau was his name. He was the average emo kid that no one really liked nor cared about. He was depressed and bullied everyday, then one day, when he was about to end it all, he met some people. People who would change his life forever... for the better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so.. this story is about my life and some people I've met along the way. Of course I don't remember EVERY detail.. so I will add(and take out) SOME things. This story also has detailed violence of abuse and self-harm, so if you don't want to read about it, then you probably shouldn't read this story. The reason I've decided to type this out is because it's sorta an outlet for me AND it also teaches people the types of things that go through a depressed persons mind. With that I hope the story of my life can help people in the future.

    My alarm went off in the morning. I groaned loudly and slowly opened my eyes, shutting the alarm off. "Fuck. I have to go to school......." I sighed heavily. I didn't wanna go to school. To me school was Hell. From all the people who hated me and pushed me around to the teachers who'd do nothing... except laugh. _Did they think I deserved it?? If so... why the fuck do I deserve it??_ I shook my head and sat up. Tears had started to fill my eyes and blur my vision. I didn't wanna go to school, but I didn't wanna be here. Here.. at home. With my abusive father. I wanted him to just leave. This had been going on for awhile. Years, I mean. I was 18 now... but i'd be 19 in May. "..It's been almost 19 years i've been on this damned earth.." I muttered. _Why can't it just fucking end already??_ I looked down at my wrists. The scars from over the years, they had marked my body. Every single one had a story. They say,  'Every scar on your body is a battle you lost within yourself..', but honestly, doesn't it mean, 'Every scar on your body is a memory. They're memories for when you get older, you will look at those scars and you will think to yourself, "Look at what I was. Now look at what I have become.". You will smile. You will smile and be happy because you know that you've become stronger.' I smiled a bit as I was in thought. A loud knock on my door made me jump. "Time to get up for school, honey." It was my mom. She was nice in the mornings, but by night she never fucking cared. It's like with everybody else in my life, they're nice, they lure me in.. and in the end... I find out that they never really cared. Like it was all just a damned game. I started crying again. "K, mom..." My voice cracked a bit, but my mom ignored it. I sighed heavily and stood up before going into the bathroom to take a shower.

 

 

     The bathroom door shut behind me before I reached to lock it. I slowly took my pajamas off as I looked in the mirror. "Fucking... just- dammit.." There was bruises all over my torso from all the times my dad had hit me the past week. I winced as my index finger brushed against a healing cut on my side. I shook my head before turning the shower on and getting in. I took my time washing my hair and body before getting out 10 minutes later. My clothes were the regular style I was always wearing. A black "Tapout" t-shirt that had white "angel" wings on the back with a pair of dark denim skinny jeans. I put my clothes on before putting my studded belt and chain on my pants. I put my socks and DC "high top skater" shoes on before looking up at the mirror, brushing my teeth, combing/straightening my hair, and putting eyeliner on the "waterlines" of my eyes. I swallowed hard, my reddish brown eyes looking myself over in the mirror. "You should move out, Trey." A smirk grew on my face and I chuckled. "..fuck it. If you move out, then he's gonna hurt your mom." I swallowed again. _..and even if she doesn't really love you... you still love and care for her. You can't move out._ My arm swung at the stuff on the sink counter and there was a loud "crash". A snarl escaped my lips, "You're fucking helpless!" I raged at my own reflection in the mirror. Of course... no one came to check on me. "..typical.." I shook my head before putting everything up in the cabinet above the sink where all my anxiety, anger, depressent and other pills were. This was "my" bathroom.. for it was built into my room.. so of course no one saw what was in there. I grabbed a couple ibuprofens and swallowed them before screwing the cap back on the bottle and put the bottle up next to a razor. I swallowed hard as I stared at the blade in front of me. I wanted to grab it, but "that" would be for tonight. I knew it would. No matter what I thought or said.. I always would fuck up or get blamed for something. I swear to god that everybody hated me.. even my own damn family. _You've lost.. probably everything now.._ Tears started to blur my vision again. "..fuck.. I-" Before I knew it, the tears started raining down as I bent over the sink. "Dammit.." My voice cracked as the voices in my head started to tell me to _just end it_. I shook my head and walked out of the bathroom.

 

 

     My hands came up as I wiped the tears from my eyes. My backpack laid there beside my shut laptop. I reached for my backpack before hesitating. "Maybe... I could skip a day??" My arm pushed my backpack to the floor as I layed down on my bed, opening my laptop. One of the mini tabs I ALWAYS had up was "Quotev". Another was YouTube. I logged into both before searching We Stitch These Wounds by Black Veil Brides. I looked up at my Quotev tab, seeing that I had a notification. I opened it up. "Kakuzu's House Party" was what it was for. I rolled my eyes before smiling slightly. "Thanks, Itouto..." I joined the group Kaku had invited me to before jumping as my door flew open. " **GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE AND GET TO SCHOOL!!** " My dad was yelling at me before he grabbed my hair and pulled me off my bed. "I was gonna go!!" I screamed back at him before he released me, slamming my laptop shut. "..goddamn.." I muttered, watching him as I grabbed my backpack and ran out of the house. My warm jacket covered me up as it was starting to get chilly, being November. I got in my car and started the ignition before driving away. A few minutes later I slowly pulled into the school's parking lot- "Field Kindley Highschool". My stomach started hurting. I didn't wanna be there. I never wanted to be there. I stopped in a parking spot before slowly turning off the ignition, sighing heavily. "Time to get ready for another day in Hell..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be some bullying going on in this chapter. Js.

     Walking through the front doors of the school, the principal called out to me. "Mr. Du Couteau... come here, please." I sighed heavily before walking over to her. "Yes, ma'am?" The sound of her foot tapping the tile floor sounded throughout the hallway. "..you're late.." My gaze followed her pen to the clock on the wall. "Oh.. sorry??" I reached a hand up to my neck as I laughed nervously. "This is the twelvth time this month.." My gaze went to the ground. "I'm sorry... I just-" "No. Come to my office." She inturrupted me. I nodded slowly before making my way into her office. "Sit." She pointed to one of the chairs in front of her desk as she shut the door behind her. I took my backpack off and put it on the ground before doing as she said. "Is there a reason why you keep being late?" She sat down in her chair and tapped the pen on the desk. _'Should I tell her?'_ I thought to myself. _'No, she probably already knows, she just won't do anything. She wouldn't fucking care anyways.'_ "Well, Mr. Du Couteau?? Is there something bothering you?" I loved playing with my sleeves and tugging them down, which was what I was doing now as I swallowed hard. "N-no.." My voice cracked a bit. The principal's eyes went down to my hands playing with my sleeves. "You sure?" She raised an eyebrow at me. "Yeah. Can- can I go now? I really needa get to class.." It took her awhile to answer, as she kept staring at me before deciding. "Yes. Go to class." I quickly stood up and grabbed my backpack, slinging the strap around my torso. "But Trey.." I stopped and turned around as she called my name, my hand already gripping the doorknob. "Yes?" She sighed. "..if you're late ONE more time... i'm suspending you for a week." A small smile krept up on my lips as I heard those words. "Yes, ma'am. I understand." I pulled the door open before walking out, messing with the collar of my shirt as I headed to my locker.

 

 

     Locker _**361**_. That's my locker. I put my combination in. " ** _27-33-31_** " The numbers quietly and slowly escaped my lips as I muttered them. I placed my backpack on the ground and knelt down to get my stuff for class out. A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I stood up with my math books and shut my locker. My locker was near the boy's bathroom, so I kind of expected what was going to happen next. "Hey, Trey.." A sudden pang of fear knotted in my stomach as I heard Drew's voice. "Andrew.. please. Leave me the fuck alone for once.." I tried to ignore him as I walked away. A strong force grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me to the ground. The sound of my books hitting the floor sang throughout the hallway. A couple kids opened the surrounding classroom doors to see what was doing on just as Andrew picked me back up and slammed me into the lockers. "You don't fucking walk away from me when i'm talking to you!" The pain on my face grew as his grip on me tightened. "..but of course... a fucking disgrace wouldn't know that.." The corner of his mouth lifted into a smirked before he threw me back down to the ground. _'So.. is everyone just going to stand there and watch??'_ I thought to myself as I stared at the ground. Small drops of blood dripped onto the white tiled floor. I reached a hand up to my nose. _'I easily get nosebleeds during the fall and winter.. but holy shit..'_ Andrew snickered, kicking me in the side as he walked away. I clutched my rib cage and layed there on the floor for a few minutes. _'Why.. why does he fucking treat me like this?'_ The clock ticked and ticked before I finally decided to stand up and collect my books for Trigonometry. "Dammit.." I muttered as I leaned against the wall, clutching my side harder. A quiet groan of pain escaped my lips as I limped over to one of the sinks and mirrors. My books made a loud slamming noise when I dropped them to the ground. Looking over my face in the mirror, I saw blood running down from my nostrils and the corner of my lips. "Why does Andrew fucking hate me?" I took a paper towel and ran it under the water to clean the blood off my face and some of my shirt. "I just wanna fucking die.." The words escaped my lips just as a teacher walked in. "What?" My eyes widened as I turned around to look at him. "Nothing.." He shook his head before going into the stall. I threw the bloody paper towel away before quickly picking up my things and heading towards Trigonometry. Or... what was left of it..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh. Sorry it's short... they all kinda will be. ;~;


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Bullying and self-harm scenes.

     The bell that signaled the end of the day rang throughout the entire school. Everybody in my class, including me got up and grabbed our textbooks. I was about to walk out the door when Chase, one of Andrew's followers, pushed me. I let out a quiet grunt as my back hit the wall. Chase smirked wide before a couple more guys surrounded me. Everybody else, including the teacher, was out of the room. I looked up at one of the guys right before Chase grabbed the back of my hood, punching me in the stomach. My textbooks fell out of my hands and onto the floor as I hunched over, letting a small cry of pain out. The guys all laughed. _'What the fuck did I ever do to them?'_ Two of the guys surrounding me came up on either side of me before they both grabbed an arm and dragged me to the boy's restroom. Chase and 3 others followed. The two guys who had ahold of me threw me to my knees in a stall, Chase closing in and grabbing a fist full of my hair before I could run away. "Hopefully you drown, shitbag." Chase sneered before shoving my head in the toilet, flushing the water down. _'Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!'_ I started to panic as I tried to keep my head up, but that only made Chase push my head farther into the water. All I could hear was the roaring of the toilet as it flushed the water down and faint laughter before I could lift my head up again. I breathed in a nice breath of air before coughing water up onto the floor underneath me. "We'll see you Monday, fucktard." The laughter grew before Chase and the rest of the guys walked out of the bathroom. _'Right. It's Friday..'_ I shook my head, still trying to catch my breath. My legs shook and water dripped from my hair as I stood up, walking over to the sink. I pumped the paper towel dispenser a few times before ripping it off. I used the paper towel, which was very rough, to dry my face and neck, as well as some of my shirt. I sighed heavily, looking into the mirror. "Fuck this place. I won't be here Monday.." Tears started to roll down my face before I turned around and ran out of the bathroom. I grabbed my books and ran to my locker before quickly grabbing my backpack and running out of the school.

 

 

     As I walked to my car I looked down at my sleeves, slightly rolling them up to reveal scars. "I won't have to deal with this anymore.." I rolled the sleeve back down before getting in my car, turning the ignition on and driving home. I took my time with the drive, crying the entire way. When I got home I stormed through the door and ran up to my room, shutting and locking my door. I didn't wanna talk to anyone. I threw my backpack onto the floor beside my door before running into my bathroom, my eyeliner making me look more like a raccoon from crying. The tears rolled down faster as I reached into the cabinet and pulled out the razor. I looked into the mirror. "Like Andrew said.... you're a fucking disgrace.." I looked at my wrist before putting the razor blade to my skin, slowly digging it in. I watched as my blood escaped from my skin. The red substance slowly ran down my arm before dripping into the sink. _'You'll never be good enough..'_ the thought brought more tears to my eyes as the warm liquid ran down my cheeks. I dug the blade into my skin again, watching as my blood dripped down the drain once again. _'I deserve this fucking pain..'_ I kept doing it, over and over and over again. I finally put the bloody blade on the marble countertop beside the sink as I went to grab some cleaning alcohol and bandages. My tears dripped down the sink as I slowly ran the alcohol over the cuts, cleaning them out. I grabbed a hand towel and wrapped it tightly around my arm for a few minutes before checking to see if the bleeding had died down. Once it had I wrapped the bandages around my arms and wrists tightly. My reflection in the mirror screamed at me, so I looked up at it. "You should fucking kill yourself.." My voice muttered as I grinded my teeth together. I ran the razor under the water before putting it back in the cabinet and walking out into my room. I opened up my laptop and put my password in, " ** _Incorrect_** ". "Because you're a smartass.." I snickered a bit before frowning as I got onto Quotev. "Great.. a fucking fight.." I shook my head before heading over to my dresser, pulling out a .40 S&W Semi-Automatic handgun. I checked to make sure the clip was loaded before setting it on my bed, setting down beside it. I sighed heavily as I looked at it, about to reach for it before my eyes flicked back to my computer. I had a notification on Quotev. I raised an eyebrow as I saw the notification say, **_"Kevin Macce replied to Kakuzu's Houseparty"_**. "The hell is 'Kevin Macce'??", me being me, I clicked it anyways. A tiny smirk grew on my lips as I read his comment. "Perv.." I chuckled the words before replying to him. _'For what reason? I don't know this dude. And "he" may not even be a dude. Sure there's a picture, but that could be anybody..'_ I replied anyways. A small conversation between us started to grow, followed by laughs and chuckles. _'Seems like a cool person..'_ I jumped when I heard my mom's voice at the door. "I've yelled for you to come downstairs and eat dinner for 5 minutes!" I rolled my eyes. "Okay, okay! I'm fucking coming!!" I looked at the gun before grabbing it and quickly putting it away, running downstairs.

 

 

     We had sandwiches from Casey's that night. I must admit.. those sandwiches are damn good and less than $5 for a footlong. _'Better than Subway.'_ I smirked before grabbing a brownie and heading back up to my room. I shut and locked my door again, I had grown used to doing that over the years. I sat down on my bed and ate the brownie, smiling before looking at the time. "Shit. Time to go to bed.." I stretched before shutting my laptop, getting up to get out of my clothes, keeping my boxers on before going to get a t-shirt to sleep in. After "changing" I turned out the light and hopped into bed, closing my eyes for the night.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope this didn't bring you down. Whether it did or not, I hope you have a nice rest of the day! <3


End file.
